As the love month draws closer, I have come across different posts on love and relationships. A particular post on twitter about early 20’s been a difficult time for guys in a relationship by a twitter user got my attention, it was really nice and so real, I was already imagining the whole scenario and am sure every other person who read it felt the same.
I shared it on my various social media pages and the replies were crazy. Not to classify myself as a deep thinker but this got me thinking and I felt slightly sorry for every young man in his early 20’s, not to say that Ladies don’t have a difficult time in a relationship in their twenties.
At 22, She is been nagged about getting married and settling down, her mother constantly reminds her that she gave birth to her at 21 and how a woman is never complete without a man. She attends various weddings,a loyal Asoebi buyer but still insist that her 24 years old corper boyfriend she has been dating for 2 years is the one.
She gets a good paying job at 24, stays indoor during the weekend as she is saving up for the future with her now 26 years old boyfriend, her friends thinks she is stupid and a dreamer to think that one day he is going to blow and have stopped trying to hook her up with their boyfriend’s cute 35 years old colleague. Gradually she begins to withdraw herself from these friends as they don’t respect her decision.
Fast forward to 3 years later, she is 27 years old,saved up enough and living a comfortable life; her now 29 years old boyfriend has finally hit his gold mine and now hangs out with the biggest boys in town and they constantly tease him of how his new status as ‘Daddy yo’ will fetch him young and free spirited girls to rub his ego.
Rejected calls, ignored messages,he reluctantly answers her questions. 3 months later he wants them to have a talk, she is excited, she calls her friends and tells them she feels this is IT. But he doesn’t know how he feels anymore, his mother is repeatedly been pursued in the dream by a young lady of her physique, he doesn’t want to hurt her and how she deserves better.
Crying,she summons up courage to call her close friend whose toddlers are screaming in the background before updating her BBM status with ‘MEN ARE SCUM’
He is in love with a younger lady she is pregnant for him and the dates had been fixed, now she realises why dates were cancelled and why it didn’t matter to him if her nails were polished.
She meets someone else who is her mother’s childhood friend younger brother, he is 46 and listens to her and knows the right thing to say with his IJGB accent. Soon they are married in an elaborate wedding, she is pregnant but he has to go back to the abroad because his Oyibo wife is getting suspicious.
Moral of this ridiculously melancholic story ;
You don’t need anyone to validate yourself at any point, whether as a man or woman in your late or early 20’s.
Put value on yourself and watch people pay the price to be with you.
Plan something fantastic for yourself this valentine, give yourself that long overdue spa treatment or get yourself that expensive wristwatch you having eyeing for a while, or just sleep in like I will be doing( I am in dire need of this)
Notwithstanding I still want to know what you have planned out for yourself , if you feel valentine’s day is overrated please go ahead and share why.
Sandra Onyekachuckwu is a fashion enthusiast, a self proclaimed Afrocentric chic and a graduate Engineer. She has interest in fashion retail and is currently a street photographer’s apprentice. You can follow her on Instagram here, @its_ardnas