The first time she had met Ken, it was at her first office after NYSC. He was the manager for the facility management department, tall with a deep voice. He was one of the hotties in the company and she joined the queue of people that fantasised about him but still she was just an HR assistant. Her boss had warned her strictly about fraternizing with employees regardless of the level in the company, to show how serious it was there was a fraternization policy in the company, so all she could do was admire him from afar.
What she did notice was that he gave some of the staff that were heading his way rides and it warmed her up some more.
Though Ese was a lover of love, she had never really been in a relationship as a result of her family. She was the last child and only girl in the family. Growing up she had her brothers or security take her everywhere so that her classmates did not bother to invite her to parties because they knew it meant plus ones or sometimes twos. Initially it was a thing to be proud about because no one messed with her because of her brothers, but it got frustrating when her coursemate Segun from the university had asked her out on a date on freshers night and word got out to her brothers. All she knew was that Segun kept his distance and never came close to her again.
While she was a beauty with her oval shaped ebony face, no one dared to linger more than necessary around her lest they incurred the wrath of her brothers. By the time her brothers had finished school and moved to other countries for their masters the damage was already done and it seemed Ese was to be a doll in a showglass, to be admired yet never to be touched.
So it came as a complete shock to her when Ken, who was a top manager, said hi to her in the elevator one morning on her way to the management meeting, he was looking so dashing in his impeccably tailored jacket. More shock was in store for her a couple of months later when he asked for her number and started getting friendly with her. It wasn’t hard to agree when he suggested they went out for dinner one of the nights they were chatting and before she knew it, she was somewhat in a relationship with a senior staff member. She stopped taking her car to work and started hitching a ride with him, though they had ensured that no one could suspect a thing about them, when he casually mentioned that he did not like sneaking around to date his colleague she knew it was either they broke up or one of them resigned.
Without seeking advice from either her parents or the girls, she had turned in her resignation letter. Like a reward for taking the act, their relationship took a greater height, he would drive to her parents house after the close of work with her favorite treats or meals. Since her parents did not know of him yet, he became the friend to the guards, they were the ones that delivered her meals to her under the guise of delivery, and nights when she stayed back very late because of him, they helped to sneak her back into the house.
The day her Dad called her into his study and asked her what her next move was since she resigned, her excuse was that she was tired of being an assistant since she already got all the experience she needed from her previous job. So once again he set her up in one of his friends' company to work as an HR officer.
The day her mum introduced her to one of their friend’s sons and encouraged them to go out and get to know each other, it raised a concern in her head but she could not tell Ken, so she told the girls and Ada had told her that it was her mums attempt to set her up with the guy and she should go ahead with it just to see. And while Shola was a stand up guy, he was a bit of a bore, he was a quiet guy, didn’t speak much, too courteous, too well-mannered, she could not help but compare her mood when she was with him and when she was with Ken and there was no doubt that Ken excited her more.
She knew she had to tell her parents about Ken when her mum started hunting marriage with Shola, and though her dad was not his warm self the day Ken came visiting she assured him in the car.
“Dad likes you, he is like that with anyone he meets for the first time,” to which Ken retorted with “of course he doesn’t like me, you’re in love with me” to which she giggled and reassured him again.
And so the matter of Shola never came up again, when she moved out because Ken believed her parents would never respect her views if she was always around them, it all made sense to her. And when she reduced the things she told the girls because Ken said it wasn’t good to share everything about her relationship with outsiders it also made sense because she had heard about it from places.
The first time he hit her without a verbal apology was when she went out with the girls, forgetting her movie night with him. He had come to her house the next morning which was a Saturday with breakfast and told her he did not feel she prioritized him enough. She remembered the incident where they had an argument and he threw a spoon at her, narrowly missing her and walked out. When she sent a message to him four days later asking if he was still mad, he had replied that he didn’t think he could continue with a relationship where she did not respect him enough.
He was at the door the next day with flowers and a box or ice cream, telling her he missed her and could not see himself without her. The day he finally met the girls, he told her when they got back that he did not think they deserved her, “I observed you with them, it’s almost like you were forcing yourself to be liked by them babe, that’s not healthy” and when she insisted that they were the sisters she never had, he snorted and murmured how unsure he was about his wife associating with ladies like that. That was the first time she seriously doubted if this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and she told the girls who agreed with her.
The day she broke up with him at the restaurant, he had asked whose idea it was to embarrass him in public rather than in the comfort of a private place. What she thought was a place of a guaranteed safety was where she got the beating of her life, while begging for help, before drifting out of consciousness she could hear murmurs of ‘dem no dey enter man and woman matter’ and ‘oga abeg leave am’ with no real help. She woke up on the hospital bed with tears in his eyes and sighs of relief. It was in the hospital bed she had accepted his proposal, she loved him after all, and maybe she should not have embarrassed him in public.
When her friends accused her of wanting to get married because she was pregnant she laughed it off till she took the pregnancy test that Friday morning and realized that she was indeed pregnant.
That night in her kitchen, while they were doing the dishes after dinner, she told him “I think I’m pregnant”.
“You think? Or you know.”
“I did a test this morning and it’s showing that I’m pregnant.”
She turned and looked at Ken, hoping for a reaction but getting none.
“Did you hear me?”
“I’m processing.”
“I will not be having the baby, the wedding is in a few months from now, my parents would be awfully disappointed and I don’t think I am ready to have a baby.”
“Seems you have thought this through, did you think of me because in all your rambling I didn’t see you mention me,” he said this while holding the ceramic plate a little to tightly.
“Of course I did, you said you won’t want us to have a child if I’m working, I’m currently working and...”
“And quitting would be such a bad idea?”
“Quitting? Babe stop joking I just got promoted to manager” she replied chuckling and turning back to the dishes.
The sound of the broken ceramic plates came before the shock on her body.
“Joking?” So I’m a joker now? Hey hey hey What are you doing?”
She had instinctively taken the knife on the counter and wielded it in front of her.
“Don’t come close to me Ken” she said looking down to his hands that also held the broken plate in a stabbing position to which he dropped instantly.
“What are you doing? Please drop the knife Ese”
“Ken I’m warning you, don’t come closer.”
“Sorry” he said this then took some steps back.
“Look, I am not ready to quit my job. Neither am I ready to be anybody’s mother please,” she dropped the hands that held the knife and started to cry.
It was in that moment that Ken rushed to her to collect the knife and in that attempt to hold the only weapon that was protecting her, she realized he stepped back from her and when she looked on the white floor tiles, she saw blood dripping, by the time she realized the blood was coming from her she was already on the floor on the pool of blood.
The last thing she saw and heard was Ken looming over her and the doorbell ringing.
Featured image: IG @penil_enchill
