It started on Twitter in the penultimate week of 2015. New year resolutions, highlights and low blows of the outgoing year were the trending topics on Twitter street.
Everyone had something to say about the ending year, and everybody had something they wanted to do or wished would happen in the new year.
I switched into my twatching (Tweet watching) mode during this period of public display of self reflection because of certain past experiences which I won’t go into today.
In between all the drama that was going on from people tweeting their goals and aspirations for the new year for the world to see, a certain tweet caught my attention.
The 1000 Naira a day goal.
There it was, a wooden Kolo, broken, to reveal it’s amazing contents of N1000 notes reported to be 365 in number (of course, I couldn’t count it so…)
And the bold caption just above the picture
If You Save 1000 Naira a Day, You Will Have N365,000 By The End of The Year.
N365,000 at the end of the year. Just like that, untouched like a virgin waiting to be broken and released from a wooden cage.
It was like someone had suddenly let common sense out of its cage on Twitter that day. Promises here and there and most of them as empty as the bank accounts of the people tweeting their allegiance to the N1000 Naira a day scheme.
I, on the other hand, did a mental calculation of my monthly earnings. N1000 naira a day meant roughly N30,000 every month. Was I ready to forfeit N30,000 of my hard earned salary to the dark hollows of a wooden box? Won’t it mean giving up endless hours of thrift shopping, New Look and Asos binging, and Friday partying and karaoking at Shaunz Bar.
I told myself I could try, I mean I had just splurged N23,000 on makeup and still no boyfriend in sight. That’s a story for another day by the way.
So, quietly, without tweeting, lest my tweet be used against me on the day of judgement, I promised to join the bandwagon of N1000 Kolo savers.
How hard could it be? I asked myself repeatedly. Not hard at all. Not hard.
2016 finally came and it’s the 17th day of February and I’ve still not found N1000.
It’s as scarce as fuel was when Baba Bubu took over from the country. I come home after work everyday and open my wallet and I’m greeted with an abysmal N300 to N500 depending on the mood of my wallet.
My Kolo remains untouched and sometimes I feel the slim crevice where money is supposed to slip through, staring at me with reproachful eyes like an unwanted bride.
It took me one hour of thoughtful thinking while feasting on boli and fish on one particularly sunny day, to figure out what I was doing wrong.
I will explain in my next post…
Yours In Crisp Mint Notes,