On The Money – The Unlikely Suspects


If anyone wakes me up at any damned hour to ask me who I think are the biggest scammers in the world, I’d say this with no hesitation – Fast Food Restaurant Owners.

The food business is the most lucrative business ever. Who can do without food? It’s the singular most important thing necessary for the development of humans and animals.

Restaurant owners know this and tap greatly into it. From the large scale restaurants to the woman who sells Bean balls and Fried Potatoes, the profits are astounding and boy they milk us clean and clear.

They know we will literally die if we don’t eat. They know that most of us need to be out so early and hence do not have the luxury of time to cook our own food.  They know all these things and they play on it  – selling the most basic food in the most attractive manner and making us pay so much for it when in the real sense we are actually paying for their rent.

Unlikely Suspects header


And we fall, oh dear we do fall.

Should I start with how a whole bunch of plantain is N200 but some restaurants (I shall not mention names) sell a portion of micro sized diced plantain for N250. Sometimes I think they count the pieces.

It Kills Me!

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Or this particular restaurant that sells a sandwich comprising of two thin slices for an amazing sum of N600 when a whole loaf of bread with 22 slices (Yes, I counted) is N200 or N250 at most.

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Or should I talk about how a kilo of chicken ranges between N700 – N900 and rarely do I see a restaurant sell chicken for less than N500. Bear in mind that a kilo can be cut into 7 large pieces.

And this one can’t be ignored – those restaurants that sell a tiny portion of rice for N650 when a Derica of rice that feeds my whole family is N200!

Expensive food meme


This brings me to my conclusions of the day.

  • Money spent on food is the easiest to ignore because we all do need to eat but henceforth, take notes on what you spend on food everyday and you will be amazed. It’s simple to analyse. Imagine spending N1500 on lunch everyday. It doesn’t seem like a lot of money right? I mean it’s just N1500 but you do this every working day. N7,500 a week, N30,000 a month and N390,000 in a year. N390,000 of your hard earned money spent on food that will cost you considerably less to prepare yourself. Way less.

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  • Sometimes, try as we might, life just happens to us in ways we least expect and we just don’t have the luxury of time. If you have to eat out, eat cheap!  There are lots of eateries, bukas and restaurants with affordable food that tastes as nice as the ridiculously expensive ones and sometimes even better. The only time you should go to a fancy restaurant is if you want to impress some girl or you want to take a selfie.



  • Cook your own food and eat out only when necessary. It also helps, rather ironically, to remember that the Lassa epidemic is something to be careful about and the rats in your house will be much cleaner than the rats in 90% of those restaurants.


  • Finally, don’t buy N600 sandwiches. Just don’t.




Yours In Crisp Mint Notes







  1. This one kills me, when you order food in a fancy restaurant and it’s just to small pieces of beef and maybe a side salad they serve you, then they bring the bill and its like $60. Hmmmmmmmmmm!


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